Being Positive

"How do you do it."
I get that question from time to time.
They (could be any one) are talking about staying positive.

What got me thinking of this was a post in Facebook.
The person was venting. What all of us Parkies, at one point or another are want to do.
The rant usually starts with how tired we are. Why was I chosen to have this?
It never seems to end, what has it done to our relationships?
Where did the person I once was go? Who is this stranger in my broken body?
You get the picture.
What do you say back to this person?
"Chin up , yes... you have an incurable, degenerative disease. But things will get better."
Yeah right...

So how do you do it?

I think it is a personal thing.  No one can give you the magic positivity pill.

It is so easy to just give up.
For the ladies, I imagine it's a, big heavy blanket, 3 tubs of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream,
and a dozen romantic movies.
For the guys, it's a pile Bourne videos, a pizza, and 2 bottles of whiskey.
Either one of those sounds good, but I hate whiskey.
And we have all thought of escaping, or hiding at one point. But that won't work .
You still have to take the meds. No matter how hard you try, it follows you.
And the kids always find you.

So....
Ready or not, here are some things I (only my opinion) think will help to keep you positive.

First...
It's like any thing else, you just have to do it.
Be as positive as you can. Smile even when it hurts. 
Like any other chore. You may not want to do it.
But you just have to do it.
It's not easy. You really have to work at it.
Even when it seems so fake, so insincere.
There is a term in sports " Fake it until you make it".  If you say it enough, you might even  start to believe it. 
As much as people want to empathize with you when they ask "How are you doing ?",
most times it is because they don't know what to say. They definitely do not want to hear all the things that you, as a Parkie, are going through.
A simple "I am fine" will do. I have found nothing brings you down faster then listing everything that is going on.    
It sounds too simple, and no you will not turn in to a positive person instantly. It won't make the symptoms go away.
But if you do it enough you actually start to feel it.

So that's it.
NOT!!

Being a positive person is more than just saying to yourself.... I am positive.
Your life has changed. Things I once took for granted I now struggle with.
But if anything, I now appreciate things a lot more.
You have to live in the moment. Not just live in the moment, but be in the moment.
Stop some time while the moment is happening to look around, take stock.
No mater what you are doing. Even the most simplest of events.
Or the biggest events.
Regardless of how I feel, even when I am in the middle of a sadness, I stop and look around at the moment.
Watching a humming bird outside the window. Looking at the dawn as I am coming home from the gym. Watching Cheryl sleep. Sounds creepy, but I fall in love with her every time I do. 
Listening to a group of friends talk about the last round of golf.  
Be in that moment. It will never come again. And that is something Parkinson's, or anything else, can not take from you.
It is easy to say "make every thing a moment". It does not work that way. Life does not work that way. There will be bad moments. Be there as well.

SAY YES
Say yes, as many times as you can.
If someone asks for assistance, you are asked to attend a function. Say yes.
Don't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone. What have you got to lose?
Ballet is not my thing, but I was asked and I went (it was awful). I don't get modern dance.
This will most likely end up coming back to haunt me.
But say yes. You might actually enjoy it.
Try new things. Just because you have not tried something is not a reason not to do it.
Yes you may suck at it, you will most likely embarrass yourself. But so what.
Every one needs a good laugh once in a while. 

Deal with the bad things.
Don't ignore them. They won't go away if you turn your back to them. Everyone has had bad things happen to them. Death of a loved one, marriage break-up, Parkinson's. The list is long.
Some things take longer to work their way through. And some things never go away. But acknowledge the bad. Deal with it. Find out what you have to do to (in the case of Parkinson's) slow the bastard down.
Know what you have to do. Learn everything you can. Ask a lot of questions.
Cry once in a while. Cry with someone. Cry for someone.   

Before I get too preachy,
To late...
Take a long look at yourself.
Take stock, be honest. Again, Parkinson's changes you, and continues to change you.
I know we all change over time. Look at the good and the bad.
Not just physical, but mentally as well.
I know I have changed my outlook. Things I would never have considered before, I would do now.
My attitude to a lot of things has changed. For example, one of my new motto's is "it's only money".
Don't get me wrong, the bills still have to be paid. But if I have the chance to do something unique, like taking my wife to a dream dinner at Chef Michael Smith's restaurant on PEI, it's a no-brainer.
There is not much I would not try. Except maybe bungee jumping. Me and heights don't get along, but I would do zip lines.
Take a look at your inhibitions. Are they something, that if the right situation came along, would they hold you back? It's okay if they will. That is what makes you, You.
"Be the person you are today, not the person you were" Perkie Parkie. 
Accept the person you are today.

Like I have said all along, I am extremely lucky. Yes I have Parkinson's.
But ...
I can still do my job.
I can still put on my underwear myself'.
I still do the things I want to do.
It's fine for me to sit here and says these things. I am not saying I have all the answers and if you follow what I say it will make you a positive person.
It's okay to be sad once in a while. To grieve the person I was.
But I think I am a better person for the experience. 

Remember IT'S ONLY INCONVENIENT

Now where did I put those movies, and where is the ice cream scoop.