A Parkie turns sixty ......
When we, well I, was in
my late teens (some would say I never left), I would try to figure out
in which year I would turn sixty. I would usually give up and decided
it was too far off into the future to be of any concern.
The concept of living to this age was completely foreign to me.
Sure my parents where sixty, but they are your parents, and they are always old.
I remember my mom's sixtieth birthday party. It was for grown ups only (us kids weren't invited).
It still didn't sink in that some day I would be that age too.
So??????
Here we are on the eve, so to say, of the big event.
I really never considered the idea that I would make it this far.
I have pretty much been a " live in the moment" type of guy.
Even
before the Parkinson's I would rarely think more than a few days in
advance. Someone asks what the weather will be tomorrow, I would not
have a clue. I generally just look out the window and reach for the
right coat and shoes or boots.
The problem with being a "live in the moment" kinda guy is you're not really great at planing.
We,
as a group, have been taught that you work until you are 60 then you
retire. And join a golf club. Well that sort of stuff just doesn't
happen, it takes planning, it takes discipline. All the things, well
lets say I know the concepts.
I am a lucky person.
My
father was in the Armed Forces and because of that we enjoyed a great
life. When it came time for me to get a job, I simply said to myself,
this is what I want my life to be like (thanks Dad).
And it was. There were some times in the middle when we weren't exactly where I wanted us to be,
but things generally worked out. Definitely not through my amazing planning skills.
As well, along the way I met probably the only person who would ever marry me, and she did.
Now I am a partner in a small but successful company.
So now I am turning 60.
Why do you TURN 60? Shouldn't it be, you grow into 60, or fall into 60 (that's me), or you peacefully edge your way to 60?
I suppose it's because it's like you turn a corner and WHAM you're fucking 60!
I
don't feel sixty.... in my head I'm still twenty something. I see a
softball game being played and think, I could play. Well I could barely
play when I was 20. I sure as hell am not playing now. But I could do
it.
I take on jobs around the house. You know... carry this, move
that. Takes two days for the pain in the, hip, knee, elbow to go away
(some).
And now I am turning 60
In 2013 I was diagnosed with Parkinson's.
Turning 60 means what?
I don't know.
Is having an incurable neurodegenerative disease any different than having diabetes, high blood pressure? Not really.
If you develop diabetes, you have it for the rest of your days. You can manage it with diet and exercise. But it is still there.
I guess the difference is that with Parkinson's you can see the deterioration.
You are reminded of it every time you take your pills.
I started with 1 Carbodopa/Levodopa 3 times a day.
Now I am up to 4 Carbodopa/Levodopa 4 times a day
If you miss an insulin dose you could have a severe reaction, maybe even fatal.
Take the dose and things return to normal.
If you miss a Parkinson's dose you won't die. It might feel like it at the time.
Take the dose and you're still screwed for the day. Just go to bed and hope for a reset tomorrow.
I guess that is what makes 60 seem so special.
When I was 30 I really did not think I would live this long. Even though my parents were 60.
So here I am about to turn sixty. So that means every day beyond sixty is a bonus day.
If
you had asked me 5 years ago what I would be like, I would have told
you I would be in a wheelchair and living in a single level bungalow. I
would be parking in the blue spots by the store doors.
The reality is, there are days, and moments when I can barely function. There are days when I feel almost normal again.
Looking forward I don't know what will happen.
Parkinson's
is marching on. I am starting to slowly regress again. I can feel the
difference. I am getting stiffer. I should be going to the gym more than
I do. But it is hard to stay motivated.
I have increased my meds myself ( DO NOT DO THIS WITHOUT TALKING TO YOUR DOCTOR).
The thing about Parkinson's is it can rob you of your future if you let it.
But for now the future is a lot closer, and I am a lot more short sighted then I was before.
Instead of looking 5 years down the road, you tend to look as far as your next doctors appointment.
For the secret to your future lies with the next set of medications.
For now I will continue to "live in the moment".
Everything is a guess.
Remember : It's only Inconvenient.
Excuse me Michael, hey Mr. Fox, can we talk?
